Me: You stopped loving me.
Wife: No, I stopped liking you
Forget me not
Me: I think you are getting old and forgetful
Wife: I think I forget that I love you.
Just don’t tighten them
You need braces… for your EARS!
Music to your ears?
Wife: Your feelings sound like tabla and sitar.
Wrong Mickey
(Disney sells these Mickey vinylmation figures in boxes but you never know which Mickey you’re going to get until you open it)
Wife: your brother is so sweet. Why did I get the mean one? It’s like I opened the wrong Mickey box.
Scorned!
Me: you have rejected me for the last time
Wife: not for the last time.
No, really, talk to me
Me: why don’t you ever tell me you’re happy?
Wife: because you keep talking
That’s Not My Name
Wife: Your name is Rich but sometimes you are just a dick.
Talk to me ?
Me: Just talk to me and (our daughter)
Wife: You are SO needy!
Almost a Compliment
Wife: I find you handsome
Me: Everyone does
Wife: Not everyone